5 Signs You Might Be Burnt Toast

You can smell something burning.

You just might not realize it's you.

Burnt toast is a nice way of describing burnout. And feeling burned out in today's world totally makes sense. The pace, the pressure, the constant demands, the always-something-next. It adds up. For a lot of folks, it adds up quietly, over time, without them fully noticing until they're already pretty crispy.

Here are five signs you might be there.

1. You're going through the motions and it's starting to show.

You're still showing up. Still doing the things. Still functioning by most external measures.

But there's a mechanical quality to it that you can feel even if nobody else can sense it. A going-through-the-motions that has crept into more and more of your days. A sense of being physically present but not really there.

The gap between what you're doing and what you actually have to give has gotten wide enough that you can't ignore it away anymore.

2. You're more easily agitated than usual.

The things that didn't used to bother you are now definitely bothering you. Small stuff. Stuff you'd normally let slide. The minor inconvenience that now somehow becomes the last straw. The minor comment that ruffles all your feathers. The little noise that feels like drilling in your brain.

You might find yourself snapping and then feeling bad about it. Holding it together in public and then losing it somewhere private. Or just walking around with a resting stink face that wasn't there before.

Agitation is often what burnout looks like from the outside. Underneath it is usually just exhaustion. A nervous system that's been asked to handle too much for too long and is starting to let you know.

3. Rest doesn't seem to be restoring you.

You sleep and wake up tired. You take the weekend off and feel vaguely guilty the whole time. You go on vacation and spend the first half decompressing and the second half dreading the return.

Real rest starts to feel impossible. Not because you can't stop moving but because what's driving the exhaustion isn't physical. It's deeper than that. And sleep and downtime, as good as they are, don't quite reach it.

When rest stops restoring you it's usually a sign that what's depleted isn't just energy. It's something more fundamental. A sense of meaning, of purpose, of connection to why any of this matters. And that takes more than a good night's sleep to replenish.

4. Numbing or checking out has become a go-to.

Maybe it's the scrolling that goes a little longer than it should. The drinks or edibles that have quietly become a nightly thing. The TV that stays on not because you're watching it but because the silence feels like too much. The way you find yourself just elsewhere, even when you're supposed to be present.

Numbing and checking out aren't weaknesses. They're coping strategies. And they tend to become more prominent when the underlying load has gotten too heavy to carry consciously.

The question isn't whether you're doing these things. Most of us are to some degree. The question is whether they're increasing. Whether they're becoming the main way you get through the day.

5. You’re running out of f*cks to give.

You used to be the person people came to. The one who listened, who showed up, who had capacity for other people's hard stuff.

And lately that capacity has dried up.

Someone shares something difficult and instead of feeling present with them you feel yourself going somewhere else. Or getting irritated when you know you shouldn't be. Or just feeling a wave of exhaustion at the prospect of holding one more thing for one more person.

This is what some folks call compassion fatigue. It's not that you've stopped caring. It's that you've given so much for so long that the caring muscle is worn out. And a worn out muscle needs rest, not more reps.

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If you recognize any or all of these signs in your life, it might be time to take a deep breath, a big step backward, and start evaluating things.

Not too critically though. Burning out doesn't mean you did something wrong. It usually means you cared a lot and gave a lot and kept going longer than was probably sustainable.

So maybe skip the judgment and just move right to making yourself a priority.

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Andrew J. Assini (Drew) is a poet, guide, teacher, and fellow traveler who helps folks wake up through simple practices and honest conversations in seasonal 1:1 containers. If you're curious about working with Drew, reach out to schedule a no-cost, no-obligation "vibe check" and see what's possible.

Turrialba, Cartago, Costa Rica - 2021 - Photo by Drew

This post was co-created with the assistance of AI as part of an ongoing effort to share helpful content and make www.andrewjassini.com and Drew easier to find for folks who might benefit. The ideas, voice, and perspective are all Drew's. AI just helped him get it organized and onto the page.