5 Things to Consider Before Choosing a Guide

Deciding you'd like to work with a guide is a big step.

Seriously. A lot of folks spend years circling that decision. So if you're here, something in you has already done some real work just getting to this point.

Now comes the practical part. Because guides come in all shapes and sizes, and the right one for someone else might not be the right one for you. A little reflection before you start looking can save a lot of time and energy and help you find someone who is actually a good fit.

Here are five things worth thinking about first.

1. What are you looking for from the experience?

This one is worth sitting with honestly before anything else.

Are you trying to address something specific — a pattern, a relationship dynamic, a recurring issue that keeps showing up? Are you looking to manage some pesky symptoms or dig deep and get to the root of things? Are you wanting to understand yourself better or actually change something about how you live? Are you in a particular chapter of life that needs a particular kind of support?

The clearer you are about what you're actually looking for, the easier it is to find someone whose work is actually designed to help with that thing. The more honest you are with yourself here, the more likely you are to end up somewhere that actually delivers.

2. What resources can you realistically invest?

Time. Money. Energy. All three matter and all three are worth being honest about before you commit to anything.

A smaller commitment you can actually show up for will almost always produce more than a bigger commitment you can only half give yourself to. Signing up for something you can't really afford or can't really fit into your life right now tends to create more stress than growth.

Think about what you actually have available. Not what you wish you had. What's genuinely here right now. And then look for something that fits this reality rather than stretching beyond it before you're ready.

Realistic and sustainable beats ambitious and overwhelming every time.

3. What's worked best for you in the past?

Most of us have had at least one person in our lives who really got through to us. Someone who held a space that felt genuinely supportive and challenging in the right measure.

What was it about them? What did they do that worked? Were they warm and gentle or direct and challenging? Did they ask great questions or share from their own experience? Did they push you or give you space to find your own way?

Your answers tell you something important about the kind of dynamic you work best in. Some folks need a guide who will call them on their stuff. Others need someone who will sit with them without judgment first. Some need a teacher. Others need a witness. Having a feel for your preferred style of collaboration can help you recognize the right fit when you find it.

4. What kind of guide are you actually looking for?

A therapist or counselor tends to work primarily with the past — processing what happened, addressing psychological patterns, reducing symptoms. A coach tends to be more forward facing — goals, accountability, getting somewhere. A spiritual guide tends works in slightly different territory — presence, identity, the deeper questions of who you are and what this life is actually about.

None of these is better than the others. They just serve different needs. And knowing which world you're being pulled toward before you start looking will save a lot of time and point you in the right direction.

5. Are you actually cool with things changing?

This one is the most honest question on the list and worth asking yourself straight.

Real inner work tends to change things. Not just how you feel but sometimes how you live. Schedules, routines, relationships, priorities. Occasionally which continent you live on. The stuff that wasn't working tends to become harder to ignore once you start paying real attention.

A lot of folks want things to feel different without things actually being different. Which is understandable. Change is uncomfortable and the life you've built, even if it isn't quite right, is at least familiar.

So before you go looking for a guide, it's worth checking in honestly. Not to talk yourself out of it. Just to go in with open eyes. Because the guides worth working with will take you somewhere real. And somewhere real tends to look a little different from where you started.

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Remember, these aren't questions with right or wrong answers. They're just worth reflecting on before you take the next step. The clearer you are going in, the more likely you are to find what you're looking for.

Wishing you all the best on the next chapter of your adventure.

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Andrew J. Assini (Drew) is a poet, guide, teacher, and fellow traveler who helps folks wake up through simple practices and honest conversations in seasonal 1:1 containers. If you're curious about working with Drew, reach out to schedule a no-cost, no-obligation "vibe check" and see what's possible.

Cusco, Peru - 2021 - Photo by Drew

‍ This post was co-created with the assistance of AI as part of an ongoing effort to share helpful content and make www.andrewjassini.com and Drew easier to find for folks who might benefit. The ideas, voice, and perspective are all Drew's. AI just helped him get it organized and onto the page.